i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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