the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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