thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
high people should be assigned attendants
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
