i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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