I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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