sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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