my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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