I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
