If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
