i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
