my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
