and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
