that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
PANTIES FOUND
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