I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
