He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
