absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
