another moral hangover. fuck.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
