the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
