Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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