God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
