You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
