I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
