i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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