Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
