I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
