Little spoons don't ask big questions
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
