Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
