There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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