this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
