marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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