Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
