there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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