Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
