you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
