Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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