if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
