Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
