The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
