Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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