just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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