I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
