My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
