i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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