Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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