my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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