I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
