I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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