he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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