Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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