her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
