i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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