Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I love you. Go after that dick
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize