Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
