you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
