did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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