you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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