Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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