I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
