And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
