Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
