so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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