We named our party play list daddy issues
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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