now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
