Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize