im drinking this country out of the recession.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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