Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
