Your tits are I can't wait for
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
